As time goes on, I can feel myself become more and more timid. Such a transformation does not happen overnight, but I have noticed a few changes in my personality. Things trouble me, or I hold myself back in ways that I have not done in the past.

    I am currently interning at a weekly magazine/newspaper near my parents home. I’m the editor of my school’s newspaper, but at my internship- I’m as low as they come. I really do not feel any sort of agitation by my presence, or any real doubt. I’m not taken 100% seriously b/c I’m still learning, still in school. I think my self-doubt comes from the fact that I have not completely earned my right to be there.

    However, this is by no means reason for me to doubt myself. I am not an accomplished writer- yet. I just haven’t earned my stripes. I feel as though it is in me to be comfortable, confident and just plain good at what I do. I just hold myself back sometimes.

    Like for example, I have a really good story idea brewing in my head, but I’m scared to tell anybody for a few reasons.
    First- I don’t want anyone to take my idea. It’s good and it’s never been done before.

    Second- It means that I’ll probably have to ask the assistance of somebody that I’m fine with working with, but a certain significant other may find as troublesome (when it’s not).

    Third- What if I work on the story, do all the interviews, and the story still lacks a certain luster that I feel I can give it, but can’t seem to find out how. In other words- what if it sucks?