I’m not good at Lent. At all. First, it takes me forever to decide what to give up, and by the time I do- I break it. So WTF?

  I used add something to my life instead of give something up. My mom gave me the idea, which is just an easy way out from the woman who doesn’t go to church (not that there is anything wrong with that- I don’t go to church. The word of Christ compels me without actually hearing it from the mouth of man…).

  So this year, I’m going to give something up. What should it be? Biting my nails? I try to do that all the time. It’s like nicotine. Us nail-bitters are addicted, my friends. So don’t judge. My boyfriend cannot understand how I even bite my nails. Not that they’re too short, he just doesn’t understand how one bites a fingernail. He also doesn’t understand how to scratch his throat with the back of his tongue… He’s good with the front of his tongue, but apparently not that back.

  Anyhoo, I digress (I love that word). Maybe I should give up something else my boyfriend distains- licking my fingers. Ok guys- If you have ketchup on your finger, you lick it off. Why? Because that is a waste of perfectly good ketchup, that’s why!

  I could give up belching… Oh wait, no I can’t. I’d blow up, like the girl in Cloverfield… Not pretty.

  I’m pretty sure I could go without Dr. Pepper, but I’d be a very mean person all the time. A life without Dr. Pepper is simply not living.

  Coffee? I barely drink it anyway. I mostly drink it on Tuesday nights when we layout the paper.

  I usually try to give up a liquid during Lent- it’s easier. Ha, on a funny-just-popped-in-my-head note, my sister once gave up soft drinks for Lent. She would order a Cherry Limade from Sonic every day. No one told her there was Sprite in it. **chuckle, chuckle**

  I once gave up cookies. I did it once, and I can do it again! I’m not ambitious enough to say I’d give up “all sweets” or “all chocolate.”  

  Maybe politically correct topics would be better. Can’t give up sex, because it makes me a happier person- and that would imply that I’m having it right now, which I’m not. My boyfriend and I have been sick for the past four weeks. Every other week, one of us is sick. Let’s just say, I’m not has happy as I could be.

  I could clean up my speech, which my boyfriend insists I’m too pretty to be so vulgar. But while being editor of a college newspaper, sometimes the only word to fit the situation is “shit.” F-bombs are appropriate just for my own benefit, not those around me- I understand this. But man, a good “fuck” sometimes sums up the feeling in the bottom of your stomach so perfectly.

  When it comes down to it, I want to give up something that I’m tied to, but will make me a better person for giving up. That is what this 40-day test to the will is supposed to be about. That and eating fish. I don’t get the fish part, but that’s a later rant issue.

  I’ll let you know when I decide.