I have weird freakin dreams. Wait, correction- I have weird freakin dreams when I actually do remember them. I’m like most people, setting my alarm for about 30 minutes before I need to get up, that way I can snooze for as long as I can. I don’t normally do this at my house, but while at my parents’ for the summer- that’s been my routine. My dog Phoenix usually wakes me up at my trailer to walk her at least an hour before my alarm goes off, so my snoozing starts then.

But the point is that when I do remember my dreams, they mostly don’t make any sense.  I mean, sometimes I can find a “life reference” in it somewhere, but most commonly it is just my creative mind going “urk.” Like after I saw the movie “I am Legend,” I had a dream that me and John Cusack were running away from zombies with macaroni and cheese for heads. We found a way out of the hospital we were trapped in (that resembled my hometown hospital), but the zombies got us when we were crossing the ball park.

Kelli’s blog (which can be found to your left) entry about her Lisa Loeb dream reminded me of a dream I recently had. I say recently, but it was more like 2 weeks ago. Why I can’t have normal sex dreams about my boyfriend, I have no idea. Instead I dream about us trying to find a parking space.

In reality, this dream makes no sense because Rayce always parks his truck away from other cars so they don’t put a door in him or something. So we never search for a parking space- he goes straight for BFE.

Anyhoo, we’re in a vehicle (not his truck, because there was no blue). Maybe the Prius or something. He’s driving and we’re trying to find a parking space in this like huge parking lot. We were working together to find a spot. Like as we’d drive up to what seemed an empty spot, there would be a little car in it. I remember a lot of pointing and Rayce leaning forward in his seat.

I think this dream represents us trying to find a place in life together. We only have one more year in college, and from then on- we need to commit to each other. Find a way to make it work. Find a “parking space,” if you will, where we can be together.

It’s pretty scary- making that sort of commitment to a person. I’ve been with him for two years this Saturday and our relationship is stronger than ever. He’s my companion, through and through. If I want to stay with him, I’m going to have to follow him- to Illinois.

This doesn’t pose that much of a problem except for the fact that there is only one major newspaper in the area. Sure- Chicago, St. Louis and Springfield are around, like 2 hours away. I could go work for State Farm, but part of me feels like I would be selling out. It would offer me great experience and perhaps serve as a jumping off point for better things- but I also never would have seen myself writing for a magazine/newspaper/online site that was published exclusively for State Farm employees. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just not were I would have picked to start.

You know how you have this picture of yourself when you’re older? That picture grows and morphs into something you plan for yourself. Well, I never planned to start working at State Farm. It would be because of him, and he knows that. And who knows? It might be better than my plans. I just know that in order for me to “park it” with Rayce, I’m going to have to find a way- which hopefully will not lead to the feeling of settling/selling out. That’s really my biggest concern.