I understand that movies are fictional and created for the enjoyment of the masses. "Transformers 2" definitely appealed to the masses, but for anyone with a brain and a simple spark of intelligent thought in that brain— it lacked the general necessity that every story of any kind must have. Quite frankly, it didn't make sense. And that, my friends, is sloppy story-telling.

Now, I could go into the plethora of plot holes or dissect inconsistencies with the first "Transformers" movie, but it seems that all the other movie critic bloggers have beaten me to it. While reading the rantings of these Eagle Eyes, I also happened to read the comments that readers posted. While some readers agreed full-heartedly with the critical authors, others actually criticized the critics for being to critical (umm... that's their jobs)! Many of the comments boasted that the author needed to get a life, stop sucking the fun out of the movie, and even defended the loosely-pulled-together "Transformer 2" plot as being for kids and just for fun, so not to be taken seriously.

See, what confuses me about this mindset is how they can even begin to call "Transformers 2" a kids movie. The robots curse, many scenes on-campus are overtly sexual, there is so much "balls humor" that kids don't get AND it's 2 and a half hours long. NO CHILD can last in a movie theatre for 2 and a half hours, at least not parents that still have a trace of sanity left. Also, even if it is a kids movie, which it is not, that does not defend the lack of concise and sensible story-telling.

While sitting in the movie theater, watching the debauchery and absorbing dog-humping and the giant ass shot, I truly felt insulted. I felt like the movie, and all it's clichés and forced humor, was an insult to my intelligence.

I mean, for the love of Mike, how dumb do you think movie-goers are, Michael Bay? I know what makes sense, and what doesn't. What's funny, and what's not. You took a beautifully crafted story with likeable characters, a giant nerd and mass following alike, a guaranteed blockbuster of the summer and gave us— crap.

Maybe he got too cocky? Maybe he was just eager to please? Or maybe he had no idea what he was doing, so instead he put just a whole bunch of crap together that people usually like...

Violence: check
Action: check
Sexuality: check
Funny new characters that hold no true relevance to the plot: check
Over-the-top crazy mom: check
The most references to testicles possible in one movie: check
Exotic location: check
Lots and Lots of slow-motion running: check
Dream/heaven sequence (which made me laugh out loud by its ridiculousness): check

Note to the Prime Gods— less is more. The movie had too much going on at one time, without a concrete focus. It's like an ADHD 13-year-old boy wrote the script.

Now, I can't blame the actors. Shia Lebouef was just as likeable as ever and Megan Fox (which I've already claimed as one of my girl crushes— the other being Marisa Miller) did what she did best— pouted her lips and looked good while running. She is eye-candy, the main thing she does well. We know it, and so does she. So it's ok.

What I didn't know was how utterly disappointed in this movie I would be. Trust me, I didn't want to feel this way, but my personal integrity as a free-thinking individual forces me to repel "Transformers 2." I like to be challenged and enjoy movies, not be disgusted by them.