The power of a hot-ham-and-cheese sandwich
There are a few food items that take me back to my childhood the instant they hit my pallet—Fago Red Pop, a crunchy sandwich (a ham sandwich with Lays barbeque chips inside), Werther's original hard candies and a hot-ham-and-cheese sandwich grilled in a frying pan. And tonight, I had my first hot-ham-and-cheese sandwich in more than three years, and DAMN it was good! It took me back, way back.
But what’s weird is that I’ve just been back. I just got back from going back, so to speak. I returned to Illinois yesterday from a week-long visit to my parents’ house in Louisiana. I got my fill of my mom’s cooking (okra gumbo, vegetable soup with ground meat, gumbo sausage and stuffed chickens from a Cajun meat market), enjoyed the Louisiana 50s-70s “winter” weather, visited old friends, cuddled with my parents’ dogs and sneezed, a lot. I was driven and drove down the roads I know so well. I stared out of the car windows a lot, engraving the site of flat land, old crawfish ponds and egrets in my mind’s eye.
So why a childhood favorite the second night I’m back in Illinois? Well for one, I’m broke and ham, cheese, bread and butter is affordable. And two, I did it in the name of reflection.This time of year, as we close the 2010 chapter of our lives and are looking ahead to 2011, it’s natural to look back at what was and how it’s changed. This time last year, I was scared to death of the winter weather because it was so foreign to me. This year I have more confidence, but I’m still an anxiety-case when driving in the snow due to a recent uncontrollable slide after taking a curve too fast that put me in a neighboring house’s driveway (hopefully the car behind me thought that house was mine, because it was just by dumb luck that I missed the mailbox and street light). This time last year Rayce and I were ok, but had no clue how much better and happy we could be. This time last year I was nervous every time I had a cover story to write. Now I write with more confidence with the knowledge that I can do it, no matter what.
And while I did have a great time in Louisiana, and now I get jealous when I see my friends getting together without me on Facebook (because I know how much fun it is to spend time with them, specifically when alcohol is involved), I know that I’m better where I am. Sitting in my chilly one-bedroom apartment in the town I work in, listening to my mom’s Eagles CD, eating cold popcorn. Because I’m happy.
My alternative most like would be to be in Lafayette getting drunk with my old high school friends (which is so much fun), but without Rayce (a man who loves me more than I thought was possible) and working at the Daily Advertiser newspaper thinking that’s the way journalism is supposed to be ( and I now know it’s not.) I’m on my own here, building a life with Rayce. And I like it that way.
But it’s always nice to be reminded of where I came from. So I will retreat to my mental images of Louisiana on the nights that my feet just can’t get warm and will break out a hot-ham-and-cheese just for the hell of it.
***Photo by me
Posted by Kera at 12/29/2010 12:29 AM 
Categories: Personal Reflections
Tags: Louisiana hot ham and cheese reflection reporter Illinois
Categories: Personal Reflections
Tags: Louisiana hot ham and cheese reflection reporter Illinois
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